How many of you have heard an office joke? Office comedy makes for some of the most relatable humor out there. But while it is all fun and games within the script of a joke, there are some things you should really never say in front of an employer. When does office communication cross the line from funny to inappropriate? While the list is endless, a lot of the things we could talk about are common. Sharing incendiary, offensive or otherwise inappropriate information with your employer or your coworkers or talking about the nitty gritty details of your personal life fall under the list of ‘no duh’ statements when considering what not to say to your boss. Instead of focusing on the obvious, Bayt.com is here with a list of seven things you might say to an employer that you probably didn’t know are absolutely off limits.
The first rule to remember is that your boss is not always your friend. You may be civil, or perhaps you go out for coffee once or twice a week. You may have even gone over to his house and had the best Mansaf or Kabseh dinner of your life. This is all irrelevant, because your employer will always be first and foremost your boss. This is something you should be wary of when saying anything that can be deemed inappropriate. Here are seven things you need to watch out for when talking to an employer.
1) Showing too much ego: “My idea was clearly better than x person’s.”
Here is the scenario. You were just in a brainstorming meeting where each member of your team had to present their solution to a problem, or their proposal for a new product. You already knew when you walked in that one idea would be chosen from the batch and you spent the better part of your weekend perfecting your pitch to the point that you were confident of your success. Only, what actually ends up happening is that instead of scoring brownie points with your boss, your employer gives the highly sought-after nod of approval to your coworker, Omar. Livid, you find yourself stewing over the fact that not only was Omar’s idea not as good as yours, but clearly yours was presented in a much better, neater format. You feel victimized by the end of the meeting and decide to confront your boss directly to ask why your idea was not chosen.
Only…that’s the problem right there. If you are trying to make a case for an idea of yours over someone else’s, the last thing you should consider doing is going up to your boss and saying anything along the lines of, ‘My idea was better than Omar’s, and I would like to explain why that is.’ In fact, if your strategy involves undervaluing any of your coworkers or throwing them under the bus, you should already be prepared to face failure. Instead, you should give each member of your team the benefit of the doubt and ask yourself, what does Omar want? Can Omar make a business case for it? Is his suggestion the best means to an end?
After all, the only thing your employer wants to hear is the best idea. Before making your case or asking for feedback, you should answer these questions for yourself. Is your idea really the best and why do you think so? Focus on the positives of your idea rather the negatives of someone else’s. Doing the opposite will leave your employer disenchanted by you and make it incredibly unlikely that they will give your idea a second thought. Remember that you are a part of a larger community and that while there is no harm in being ambitious and confident in your vision, you could always stand to learn from others, understand why your idea was not the best, and work on improving your execution in the future.
2) Losing your temper: “You are completely wrong!”
While this seems like an obvious point to make, it is amazing how many smart, talented and experienced individuals can be victims of their own temper. What is said in the heat of the moment can have a detrimental effect on the way your employer and your coworkers see you as a professional and as a person. For this case, let us imagine that you are having a discussion about something and you and your boss are in disagreement. No matter how irrationally you might think your boss is acting, you must maintain your composure at all times. If you find yourself getting angrier and saying things without thinking them through, you will be letting on more about your emotional maturity and your professionalism than you would about the point you are trying to make.
Empathy is the key to a successful discussion. Irrespective of how you personally feel about a subject or an argument, going through each point with careful thought and consideration to the other person’s opinion is the only way to have a productive, useful discussion. If you find yourself incapable of having a calm, rational debate, you might want to keep your thoughts to yourself until you have calmed down enough to put your concerns forward professionally and calmly.
3) Hiding behind false ‘integrity’: “I am only being honest.”
Honesty is, of course, the best policy, as they say. However, there are limits to what your honesty should cover in a work environment. Undervaluing coworkers, whether they are incompetent or not, taking part in workplace gossip, relishing in the failures of those you dislike and sharing private information about yourself and others that are inappropriate for the workplace would all fall into this bucket.
Even if you are friendly, you should not be taking up space in their office to rag on coworkers or share the secrets of those you work with. You should not take up work time in order to discuss your private life at length either, as it gives the impression that you are here to play and not to work. No matter how much you might dislike someone or find them incompetent, it is also important to show yourself to be the bigger person and give credit where it is due. At best, such behavior would show utter lack of team-work and leadership skills and at worst, it will showcase you as an untrustworthy person willing to relay any and all secrets to the first person who will listen. It is certain that you are not that kind of person and you probably just want to make light of the things that irritate you, but save such chatter for conversations with friends you trust, not someone who has you on their payroll. If you have objective and solution-oriented feedback, then feel free to communicate that to your manager without any biases or unnecessary details.
4) Making threats: “I have turned down amazing offers to stay at this company.”
While there is nothing wrong with seeking outside offers during employment, the last person who should be aware of this is your employer. I would go further to say it is probably a subject best left undiscussed at work unless you are intending on going through with it. Otherwise, you will be playing with fire. It is never, ever appropriate to mention that you are swimming in a sea of offers, whether you accept them or not. Furthermore, you should be careful never to bring it up in the heat of the moment. Your employer will begin to see you as someone who already has one foot outside the door instead of someone who is loyal to the company.
5) Making territorial grabs: “Why did x get the promotion? I have been here longer.”
While being upset in this scenario is understandable, having been at a company longer than another employee is the worst possible justification for a raise or a promotion. What you should be thinking about is whether or not you are producing enough value to justify a promotion or a raise. If you do, that is the best time to raise the discussion. What can you bring to the table that will allow the business to grow? What did the other employee do that earned them a promotion? While I am sure that individual has shortcomings, as all people do, the employer clearly sees value in them if they were offered a promotion. Instead of getting upset and territorial, you should calmly ask your employer what it was that made them decide to promote them. You should take your time to see what your coworker brings to the table that your boss believes is valuable. This would be much more productive than rambling about how victimized you feel. Learn from their example and work hard on getting promoted the next time such an opportunity arises.
6) Providing unconstructive criticism: “Our meetings are disorganized.”
Instead of simply noting that there is a problem, you should be prepared to address it. Design a plan of action for whatever criticism you make. Making loose, negative criticisms without providing a solution is the equivalent of throwing an issue in your boss’s lap for them to resolve. You should always strive to be the aspirin, not the source of headache, when it comes to any complaints you choose to bring forward.
7) Acting childish: “Maybe I haven’t been performing very well, but I have been here for an entire year and nobody has offered me a raise, so where is my incentive?”
By acting this way, not only would you be shifting the responsibility of your poor performance onto others and losing out on an opportunity to be reflective and honest, but you would also be displaying a degree of emotional immaturity and that is an immediate red flag. You should be careful not to give the impression that you are working purely as a means to a reward. Your incentive should be to do the best job you can. Even if you are feeling frustrated and underappreciated, the solution is not to say it so bluntly. Nobody is irreplaceable and the way you behave might make you less valuable to your employer.
Instead, you should be working your hardest in order to later ask for some form of increased compensation during year-end appraisals. If you feel like your motivation is being severely impacted, a calm discussion with your boss about your motivation and your workload is much better than a careless display of dissatisfaction.
As always, sound off in the comments below and let us know if you are guilty of any of the aforementioned no-no’s or know someone at work who is. What do you think the best communication practice is at work? Is there such a thing as being too friendly with your boss?
