Negativity is something we all dislike. Nobody wakes up thinking, "Man, I sure would like to get my fix of negativity today!" When there's negativity in the workplace, though? Sometimes, life is nothing if not there to test your mettle. After all, we all want to avoid that person whose mere presence sucks the energy out of the room. Often, however, that person is a coworker whom you have to see, and interact with, on an almost daily basis.
While nothing will make things better than avoiding being in the walking proximity of a black hole in the first place, here's some advice on how to counteract negativity if it’s making a regular appearance in your work life.
(Related: How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers)
Avoid taking the bait
Oftentimes, a negative person does their thing by throwing a hook and waiting for just about anyone to bite. Don't. It's going to be tempting, and you'll want to react to their misbehavior – but it'll only make things worse because most likely that's what the person in question is looking for. Whether it's gossip, backbiting, being overly pessimistic, or even being passive-aggressive – simply keep your wits about you and graciously neutralize them by not reacting to them at all.
What if you're involved in the same project?
(Or, God forbid, what if that negative coworker is your boss?)
Usually, you'll find yourself at odds with your negative coworker and the progress of your projects will be impeded by your lack of agreement. This is why you should actually avoid "forcing it" (which will exacerbate the problem) and instead work on finding a third solution that feels good to both parties. Often if you show a genuine willingness to hear them out, you'll find some wiggle room for negotiation. Once you reach an agreement that feels good to you both, then you will have taken some of that edge out of their negativity and will thereby find it easier to focus on your work.
Note: never try to "compromise." As in, don't try to reach an agreement with the premise of "I'll agree to something I slightly dislike if you agree to something you slightly dislike." That's bad. It's a recipe for a largely unpleasant working experience and even worse – resentment.
Communicate your boundaries
While you don't want to react to them with your own negativity, you don't want them suffocating you with their stuff. Don't be afraid to tell them that you would prefer to stay professional and to focus on only getting the job done – and done well. Sometimes, that alone can actually do the trick.
See the "truth" in their story
At the risk of contradicting myself, there's actually often some validity to the grievances of a negative person. It just tends to be exaggerated and lost amidst a very emotionally charged and obscured perspective. Plus, people tend to generally tune out what they don't like to hear – so the message that a negative person is trying to get across (believe me, they are trying to get a message across) gets lost in the process. This is where empathy comes in.
So if you're feeling up for it, go ahead and try speaking with your coworker. Just don't get them riled up further by responding to fire with fire. Instead, try to hear them, see them, feel into them. Understand them. If you're patient enough, you'll be able to pierce that thick, almost disorienting gauze of negativity and then get to the cause of their frustration.
Then you can have a real, honest, back-and-forth conversation to try and truly try to solve the problem. In short, be the employee everyone wants to have on their team.
If all else fails, go to your manager or HR
If the problem gets out of hand, or if it keeps going despite your attempts to subvert it, then it's time to let your higher-ups know what's going on. They might move you so you no longer have to see your coworker or talk to them directly.
A word of advice: Before you take this step, you should take your coworker aside and politely explain to them how they're making things harder than they need to be. If this step solves the issue, then you'll have saved yourself a painful and unnecessary conflict at your job. If not, then you're left with no option but to go straight to the workplace authorities.
If the problem is present even at the top, here’s how to tell whether companies have a positive working environment for the next time you’re looking to get hired.
Seeing the big picture is the ultimate antidote
At the end of the day, you’ll always run into that person who just makes things worse. Yet, in spite of their (mostly unconscious) attempts to bring down the mood, you can still keep your energy high and yourself motivated if you keep your eyes on the big picture.
Most negative people are negative because they've been conditioned to think and feel negative as a result of their circumstances and past events in their life. If you're able to keep that top of mind and exhibit empathy for them, without letting them violate your own boundaries, you'll stay largely unaffected and still be able to perform well and with a clear headspace on the job.
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