Do you know how hard it is to juggle 3 balls or more? I don’t, but if you’re a parent (or you’re about to become one), you probably do. Because that’s what your life is going to look like in the next couple of years. Hate to break it to you, but if the missus (or you, if you’re the missus) just had your first child, you probably won’t be finding more free time in your schedule for a very long time.
And you’d better be prepared because that baby won’t just be bringing the joy and ecstasy of having your firstborn along with it if you know what I mean.
(Want some stress-management tips? This and this blog post helps – both on slightly different topics, but applicable to your situation all the same. Can’t go wrong with them, really.)
But hey, you likely already know that overwhelm will abound. I’d wager you’ve known it for a while, so here you are – laying out the groundwork for the newest phase in your life. You want to minimize stress, ride the wave of child-induced joy, and squeeze out every last second of free time you can get in the process.
Let’s get down to business, shall we?
What do you want your life to look like?
Here’s where it’s tempting to venture off into unrealistic grounds. Yes, we all want everything, and we all want to have it both ways. But that’s not reality, alas. You’re going to have to prioritize – and that means making sacrifices. If it hurts just thinking about it, think of the young’un whom you’re doing all this for.
So, sit down with your spouse to have a discussion about your future. What do you want your life to look like? How are you going to raise your child? What do you want for them? What are your professional goals? Both you and your partner’s answers should be as detailed as possible to avoid any vagueness.
Expect to shift a few (or many) things around
This is a time for a change; you might not like it, but as I said, you can’t always have it both ways. That means, if you want your child to grow up with Mommy and Daddy always there for them, you’ll want to figure out a way to work remotely some or all of the time. (Or even going on maternity leave for the first year, which I recommend. Go be a mom.)
Once the big questions are all laid out and answered, it’s time to draw up an actionable plan to work toward your goals.
Start becoming resourceful
It’s no secret that a baby can take a massive toll on its caregivers’ mental and physical capital; daycare, health checkups, grocery shopping, and more laundry all see to that being the case. Hence, the subheading of this section. You should always be asking yourself, “How can I be more resourceful?” Does your employer provide a daycare? Are your (or your spouse’s) parents available to help out with shopping for groceries and running other errands?
Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. This is your life we’re talking about here, as well as it is your child’s. Do whatever you can to make it easier for everyone involved.
Plan, plan, plan… but not individually
You’re a team – now more than ever, with the recent addition to the family. You can’t plan everything in your week or even day all by yourself without running it by your partner first (and vice versa). Check-in with each other. See what you can skip or delegate to make time for things like doctor’s appointments, birthday parties, etc. Make note of all work-related stuff that will require overtime or business travel. Make sure you both clearly understand whose turn it’ll be to do daycare runs each day; who’ll go to the doctor’s appointments (if not both); and who’ll handle feeding, laundry, and other house-related responsibilities in the day.
Lastly, don’t skimp on self-care. Looking after a baby doesn’t mean you must neglect to look after yourself. Incidentally, the more you look after yourself, the more you’ll be able to look after your baby. It always goes both ways, Bucko.
It’s always going to be hard
But not unnecessarily so if you plan ahead and take action. You’re going to get overwhelmed. Expect it. You’re going to feel overstressed. Submit to it.
That said, you can still work to mitigate all of those inevitable effects by taking the time to find the right balance between working and raising the little one.
And remember: your child has no bearing on what you might be feeling during overwhelm, and by that, I mean they do not deserve feeling your frustration. Always keep that in mind, and smile; it goes a long way in both parenting and being a good employee.
