Let’s face it, asking for help is not the easiest thing to do. Asking for help at work is even harder because typically, the workplace is an environment where people prove their abilities and self-worth by exuding confidence and expertise. Hence, for some, it is akin to admitting weakness or incompetence. Others may fear the embarrassment of being rejected or dismissed.
You may be in a similar situation - needing the support and collaboration of your coworkers but terrified to ask. You may have even resorted to reading books or going to the internet whenever you need help at your workplace to avoid asking your coworkers for help. The truth, however, is that ascending the stairs of your professional life will be harder without support from others.
So how can you ask your coworkers for help successfully?
Snap out of your unwillingness to ask for help
Getting through your unwillingness to ask for help is probably the most resourceful tip you need to get support from your co-workers. Many a time, we assume that we would not get the help we need but the honest truth is that people are willing to help more often than not.
A series of studies conducted by Francis Flynn, Professor of Organisation Behaviour at Stanford School of Business buttress this. In the first 3 studies, people concluded that there was a 50% chance that others would agree to a direct request for assistance, but further studies revealed that this was simply not the case. People were more willing to help than the help seekers imagined. In another study by Vanessa Bohns, Professor at Cornell University, she found out that the rate at which help seekers got help when they requested it was about 48% higher than their expectations.
The point is, get out of your head! Your co-workers are more likely to render assistance to you than they are to reject it. Moreover, research has proven that people feel better about themselves and get emotional satisfaction when they render assistance to others. Stop holding back.
Find the right coworker
Asking the wrong person for help is akin to not asking for help at all. Even worse, the rejection or dissatisfaction you may get from asking the wrong person for help may have long-lasting effects on you. Depending on the kind of help you need, knowing the right coworker to ask for assistance does not have to be that big of a deal.
For example, if you need help getting acclimated to your workplace (assuming you are a new employee), you could consider asking that high-spirited coworker with a bubbly personality. He is less likely to reject you and showing you around could even be a fun thing for him to do. On the other hand, if you need help completing a project, you may want to ask the reserved yet friendly coworker who has spent more time in the field than you have. She is more likely to empathize with you and provide profound answers to your questions. Remember to not overstep boundaries when dealing with them. Be respectful and courteous to the coworker you choose to ask for help.
Learn how to make thoughtful requests
Before you ask your co-workers for help, be clear about what you need. You could be seeking materials, advice, recommendations, information, or something else but it is important that you think carefully about your needs and determine what matters the most. Many people embarrass themselves without receiving the assistance they need because they did not know what to ask for and how to ask for it. Once you have carefully thought about your needs, practice what you intend to say. Your choice of words when asking your coworkers for help can go a long way in determining if you will get the assistance.
You could try preparing a menu of questions and going over them over and over if you are confused or nervous. Try not to sound demanding. Your goal is to make the coworker empathize with you. Be specific as you request assistance. If others are involved, mention that there are others involved. If you have tried some other methods and failed, mention that you have done that. If you have a deadline to meet, tell the co-worker this. It may motivate them to help you. Explain why you chose them. Did someone refer you to them? Did you notice their skillfulness? Is it a personal connection?
The point is that you must be honest with them. The more honest and straightforward you are, the higher your chances of getting help. For example, saying ‘I need you to review my work’ may leave you with an excuse of some sort about why they can’t help. On the other hand, saying ‘I have just completed my work for the day. I needed an experienced person to review it before I submit it to the project manager tomorrow and decided to come to you. Would you be kind enough to help?’ is more likely to get you the assistance you need.
The following statements could serve as a useful template in asking your coworkers for help:
Be mindful of the timing
While asking your coworkers for help, be mindful of the timing. As much as you can, try to not ask for last-minute favors or request assistance at odd times. Recognize that your presence may be disrupting their schedule. Ask for a time that is convenient for them to have a discussion with you and stick to that time. Avoid being late or missing the meeting. This will help them take you seriously. Remember, that your coworker has tasks they may want to complete. You do not want to seem obnoxiously annoying or time-wasting.
